annehathawillannehathaway:

why is it so hard to find a guy who is 80+ y/o, has a 7 figure bank account, a life-threatening illness, and no living family

(Source: dilfgod, via squidyword)

puppymother:

in grade 11 i was on the phone w this boy i wanted and i owed him a favour or something so i was like “it can be anything you want” and he was like “anything?” and im like ya thats what i fuckin said and he goes “can you explain to me how a fridge works? like how does it stay cold”

(via barbies-not-even-perfect)

#Team I’m Trying To Feel On Your Dick While We’re Having Dinner With Your Parents

(via sexxxpensive)